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Mono ieba kuchibiru samushi aki no kaze. In an English translation of this Japanese proverb: It is better to leave many things unsaid. Silence is a vital part of Japanese culture. Most Japanese feel more comfortable and at ease when there is less talk and more pauses in a colloquy. They tend to avoid eye contact and indicate attention with a mere nod. In contrast, most North Americans become unnerved with long periods of silence, and are taught to keep eye contact when speaking with others. In Obasan, Naomi is torn between the two cultures she lives in. Her aunt Obasan strictly abides with the “rules” of Japanese culture, never bringing up the past. However, Naomi’s need to speak about the past grapples with her loyalty to her family and culture, as shown on page 267: “Gentle Mother, we were lost together in our silences.”

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Naomi shows that she cares deeply for and loves both aunts abundantly. The tension built around Aunt Emily and Obasan yanks Naomi into a tug of war between them. Her struggle to comprehend her past, and the value of remembering or forgetting are propelled by the magnetic pull of each Aunt. Obasan’s refusal to speak about the past diminishes Naomi’s ability to accept the events which shaped her life. This is illustrated as Naomi describes her aunt: “Over the years, silence within her small body has grown large and powerful.” (Kogawa 14) Simultaneously, Aunt Emily is depicted as extremely outspoken and energetic. “We have to deal with all this while we remember it.” (Kogawa 38) Aunt Emily demonstrates strength by protesting the rights of the Japanese people, as shown on page 37: “There’s no strength in seeing all sides unless you can act where real measurable injustice exists.” Meanwhile, Obasan draws strength from inside, as she willingly looks after Naomi and Stephen without objection, continuing to keep her emotions hidden away.